SWIMMING UP STREAM

It has been raining CONTINUOUSLY since Monday.  Cabin fever is setting in at the Ipsen house, C3.  Our little house is getting too close for comfort and the tension has been getting high.  Yesterday the kids decided they'd had enough.  They had watched their share of Scooby Doo, couldn't build any more lego designs, and played one too many hands of Go Fish.    The rain doesn't faze or slow down the local kids, life goes on as usual and they don't understand why my kids didn't want to come out (continuous knocking on the door and "Momma Joe/Grace, when can Joe/Grace come outside?  What are they doing").  So on day three of being housebound, it was time to join thier play in the rain.  Volleyball and army men as usual.  I said great, let me send you out with some soap...one less bath this week! 

Brian has still been working hard and trying to make sense of all the crazy advanced medical problems with lack of treatment here.  He comes in and just shakes his head, no words.  It is hard to see him so frustrated.  He is a fix it, get it done, and move on kinda person.  I am too, but he more than me.  So I know his frustrations are valid and great.  I wish that I could convey these to you all in a way that you could truly understand...swimming upstream.  But I think that you really cannot understand unless you've lived it, smelt it, touched it, heard it, and seen it.  The realization that we have a hard time admitting to is that here in Africa, it is what it is.  A recent example, yesterday the surgical staff went home early and today started after 1pm because there were no surgical gowns for the surgeons.  With all the rain, laundry service has not been able to keep up.  The scrubs and gowns are not drying fast enough.  Completely avoidable situation, BUY A DRYER!!  Instead they went to the hospital in a town over and borrowed the needed gowns.  It took four hours today to get them in.  Asha!  We can do our best to help in the ways we can and that is it, that is all we can do.  The docs can heal who they can in the time they are here, they can teach their skills, but they can't change the system and way of life that is Africa.  And not just Africa, I'm sure it's the same in all the places in the world that are suffering from poverty and  like struggles.  Ultimately  there just has to be acceptance of the circumstances and faith in God as THE HEALER and author of the peoples lives here.  He knows better than us and will provide. 

Myself, I haven't minded the rain even though it's a bit dreary. I finished a great book, did some reflecting of our time and work here, and enjoyed the cool snugly days not doing too much of anything (which is a very rare thing for me). There were two downsides to my lazy days though. First, my laundry WILL NOT dry and we will run out of clothes sooner rather than later. Second, I don't have much of anything interesting to blog about! 

  

 So, since I have nothing else interesting to blog about, today you get my thoughts.  Bear with me, or just don't read it if you start getting bored! I don't like to get too serious in my thoughts, but in these rainy days of quiet reflection, all these issues and happenings here, (aka...life in Mbingo, Brian's medical frustrations, Grace's lessons in living as the minority, our longing to feel at home here, find our nitch, and make a difference here, the reality that our life is easy no matter how hard we feel it is) I have decided on one thing.  That is, that all of our expectations cannot be too high.  In all aspects of this journey, I continue to fall back on "it is what it is" and we just have to decide what our role in that is going to be (at least that is what I tell Grace).  Unfortunately, in the end we may receive more than we give or at least feel that way. 

  

What we give...

I have to start with this, an asterisk if you will.  God has blessed our family in more ways than Brian and I could ever imagine or have asked for.  We are here by His mercies, grace, and love.  What WE have to give... nothing, we are just the vehicles by which His blessings are delivered.  That happens where ever we serve.  My prayers here are for the continued healing and blessings to a people and culture that is in our eyes broken and in constant need.  Needs that are greater than we will ever know.  And by we, I mean you too!  We as blessed Americans will never know the misery of life in Mbingo, Cameroon or other places like it.  What we can deliver here is hope, hope that there are people in the world that are able to and willing to lend a hand, knowledge, aid, love, and caring.  Even when it feels insufficient  and insignificant to us.  To take care of the people that are in greater need than ourselves. " For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’"  Deuteronomy 15:11.  When we are willing, the Lord will deliver what is most needed.    

 What we get...

The knowledge and lessons learned here are most valuable and I/we have taken them to heart.  These are the lessons that we will prayerfully pass on.  In getting, we can continue to give.  Most importantantly I hope to teach and give these gifts and lessons to our children.  That is why I am writing these thoughts down, collecting my thoughts for them.  And if any of the rest of you benefit, grow, or learn from our experiences,  gifts, and my thoughts, then as Susan would say..."That it is a good, that is nice"!  When I think about specifics, many scenarios come to mind.  My story and lessons are many.  For instance, the very kind and friendly man who wishes us well every time we see him throughout the day.  His job at the hospital...collecting all the trash (from ground and buckets) and hand separating it into compost and burnable.  Despite this job that disgusts my children, you can tell he has a joyful heart and is thankful for having the job.  One day I hope to see him without his nasty gloves on so that I can hug him!  There are the ladies that hunch over every day with their bent shovels weeding the entire drive of grass and weeds.  They also remove all the moss that grows on the concrete curbs of the drainage ditches.  Such a tedious unending hard task, they do it with a smile when I would just buy round up and be done with it.  It goes on and on.  They are not too proud to do what needs to be done to survive.  I know that I've said it before, life here is about survival.  Surviving, I can't even begin to tell you how I "survive" because I will never know.  No matter how bad life gets for me/we/us, there will always be an opportunity to make it better.  I had a friend of Gracie's ask if she could wash our clothes for us, so that she could make some money.  I told her no, I wouldn't have anything to do then.  Her response, "you can just sit and rest".  I don't want to be the white man that sits and rests.  This brings me back to "in getting, we can continue to give".  My challenge from here forward for all who reads this is that this question be asked, are my needs greater that of someone else?  If no, what am I/you going to do about it?  Then ask, is it ok to say yes to the first and no to the second?  Think about it.  God has commissioned us to love our brother as he has first loved us.  Even if you feel your contribution to the survival of a brother is insignificant.  It still is what it is!  It still gives them hope!  It is still loving your brother!  It is still what we are called to do!  So do it!  Give what you have to someone who's needs are greater than your own.  The giving and getting outweigh the frustrations and challenges.

Ok, my brain is done spewing. 

One funny story real quick to end my madness.  This goes back to too many hands of Go Fish.  (Mom you will appreciate this one!)
So, B and I had a dinner that we attended last night for the graduating residents.  We left the boys under Grace and her friend Becky's charge.  When we got home, the boys were both asleep and in bed.  I went  in the kids'  room to tuck Toby in and put his pull up on.  He started crying in his sleep.  I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I wanted to play Go Fish".  (We play 30 times a day, he LOVES it!)  I said no, you are already asleep.  He sat straight up in bed, cried harder and said, "No I'm not.  Please, I want to play Go Fish".  Fine...We played Go Fish in Toby's bed, then he laid his head on the pillow and went back to sleep.  :)  And then Grace found $20!

Oh, I have to go.  I think I hear the ice cream truck!   -al