Africa, Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I apologize for not staying up with the blog this last week.  We have been busy, the internet has been spotty, and when we are in the house Susan has been using the computer to catch up on the entire Scooby Doo story seasons one, two, and three.  It is funny to watch Susan when she is watching the shows.  She will be laying there quietly watching then all of a sudden bust out laughing.  Then I start laughing.  Then she looks at me like I'm weird?!?!  But, she has been getting increasingly more restless the last week as she is feeling better and is venturing out with the kids more as her pain allows.  I have to again let you all know, that she inspires me in her courage and bravery.  You would never guess that she is three weeks out from major spine surg.  B even says that any patient in the states would still be complaining, doing not much of anything, and wanting pain meds.  Not so with Susan.  She actually wanted to go hiking with us yesterday, but her dad said no.  After the hike I was glad...it was hard for all of us. 

I know B posted some of the pics yesterday from what's been going on lately.  I won't repeat, but maybe add to the narratives.  So, Saturday we headed out on another hiking adventure. Our family and Pastor Mendi joined us.  We had decided to take some of our kid goodies along with us to hand out to the kids that live up the mountain.  We frequently see them outside playing when we are on the start of our hikes.  The have very little and all work hard.  The kids living behind us have it good compared to the families in the outlining villages.  They were so excited!  The boys all loved the little cars, bubbles, and the little girl in the picture with Grace was too precious.  I'm thinking maybe we will make another trip up there this week before we go. 

On with the hike... It started out good, a little tough, grasses over our heads, path about 6-8 inches wide where they had just laid a new irrigation line from the falls to a new collection reservoir, no rain, it was good!  We reached the summit above the falls and took a rest.  Grace was the only one who really needed a rest.  The boys are now nicknamed, "billy goats" cause they are hiking champs.  Pastor kept stopping every 10 yrds or so and marveled at God's beauty, he couldn't believe it. There are apparently no hills/mountains in Gambia.  And there is not as much rain, so not as green and lush either.  After our rest is when B decided we needed to descend from our perch to the base of the water fall.  He assured me there was a path.  Oh there was a path alright, but it hadn't been walked on in probably 5 years!  I was not too happy with him at that point, bush whacking is not for me.  But halfway down our mile decent... we might as well finish, we've come this far.  We reached our destination point with a good view of the fall.  I worked my way through uncharted grasses to find a spot for a good photo (trying hard not to think about my new knowledge of the pythons habitating the bush that I was crawling through!!)  When I found the right spot, it was actually the WRONG spot.  I had stepped on an ant hill.  Yes, red biting ants in my pants!  The saying here is, "ants in your pants...pants on the ground".  I did the ant dance, did not drop my drawers as pastor was with us, did my best to squish them inside my pants as they bit me, and decided that I'd had enough!  B made me take one photo with the kids, then we headed up the very steep and slippery mile climb back to the summit point.  I was very motivated to get out of the brush, Grace cried the whole way back (she was way past done with this adventure), and the boys were loving it.  It is clear now that there will be no more hikes anywhere where there is not a clear recently traveled path!  We made it home just before the rain (which is usually how it works).  I forgave B once we got home and remembered that he had brought One Amstel Light from town on our way in and it was still in the fridge.  It was just what I needed, that and  a shower! 

So, there have been some other things that almost don't faze me anymore, but thought you might be interested to hear about them.  "Everybody knows your name"!  It's come to my attention that I really have to watch what is said and done while in the hospital compound.  It was a little unnerving at first when I would hear random patients call my kids by their names.  We usually share "good morning/afternoon/evening" or ashas with most people we pass through the hospital on our way to meals/church/children's ward/etc, but there has never been any formal introductions.  So you could probably imagine that it was kinda weird last week when I started to notice that before we would even get to certain patients sitting in the corridors that they would say hello to my kids, calling them by name.  Toby is their favorite.  I think because he will not look at them, let alone talk to them.  They don't understand (or I don't know how to explain it to them so they understand) that he is just extremely shy. So it has become a game if you will, who can get Toby to talk to them or cry.  Then yesterday as we were walking to lunch a patient, who I recognize as having been here since we have, said "Hello Grace".  I asked him how he knew her name since we have never introduced.  He said that he just knew.  So I said, "Well then I probably aught to know what your name is?"  "Yes, madame. It is Charles".  Not sure why, but that made me feel a little better.  At least we are now acquaintances and he's not just the strange patient who stalks my children! :)

I had a funny thing happen yesterday.  I was in the shower after our hike.  I had my eyes closed washing my hair and then I heard a lawn mower.  Yes, you heard me right and that was my thought exactly.  Actually it took a minute.  At first it didn't even enter my thoughts that it be out of place, but when I opened my eyes and remembered where I was, I was like...WHAT?!?!  The neighbors, Dr Bardin and his wife, have acquired a lawn mower.  It was just one of those, "things that make you go hum" moments.  And then I found $20.  Actually, no I didn't, but I did for a few moments go outside just to smell the fresh cut grass.  You know, those are the little things you don't even realize you miss.

Joe made me wash his tennis shoes today.  We were talking about what all we needed to do this week to get ready to start packing up on Friday.  Shoes were on my list, so I said ok.  But then he told me that he wanted them to be clean so that he could give them to Collins.  Why I asked?  Collins, one of our hood boys, is leaving tomorrow to go to Bamenda to visit his family.  He will not be back until after we leave.  Collins has one pair of shoes, they are pink hello kitty sandals with a hole in the front where his big toe hangs out.  Joe said that he could just wear his flip flops home, he didn't want Collins to have to wear pink hello kitty sandals anymore.  I was very proud of my Joe and his kind heart.  So, I washed his tennis shoes and we are fan drying them so they are ready tomorrow morning to give to Collins.

This is Collins, aka Bucket Head.  I had to snap him four times before he would smile for me!

We had a visit from Chaplain B the other day.  He came to our house just to welcome us.  He lives in the houses behind us and is Courage and Collins grandfather.  He wanted to tell us how much he has enjoyed having our kids around.  It makes him very happy that they seem at home here (which they have been just making themselves at home in all the hood houses) and love to play and share with the hood kids.  He was at our house for about an hour.  We had good conversation.   I think we both learned a lot.  He told me a story of a missionary family (let's call them the Smiths) who used to live here with their kids.  They were here in Mbingo for a couple years and then decided to move back to the states when their kids turned high school age.  The Smiths' daughter who was 9 at the time did not want to leave.  She asked the Chaplain if she could stay and live with him and his wife.  His answer was no, although he said that he would have taken her in a heart beat.  I of coarse inquired into why he told her no.  He said that as long as the Smiths had lived here, she would still have too hard of a time adjusting to living with him and his wife.  He told me that there were four reasons why she could not.  There was the food (he knew as missionaries we do eat some local food, but it would be hard to eat it every day), the bathrooms (we are used to indoor plumbing and would not like using an outhouse everyday to use the toilet and for showering), school would be very hard to transition to (most missionary kids are home schooled or go to boarding school in Younde, the capital), and finally sleeping arrangements (they all sleep together and have only small beds, their quarters are half the size of the two bedroom duplex we are in right now).  Because of these four things he had to tell her no...and break her heart.  As Americans, we are too soft.  He did not want to make her life harder or uncomfortable because he cared that much for her.  We are to accustomed to our life and amenities.  I know that he is right as it has been an adjustment for us to live here.  Although it made me sad at the same time.  Today the Smith girl is grown up, and has visited Chaplain B many other times on short missions on her own.  The other thing we talked about that we both found interesting came from conversation from a question from Chaplain to me.  It was, "How much does it cost a family to get married in the US?"  I hesitated for a moment and then realized that he was talking about a dowry.  When I told him no gifts, he could not believe it.  He was surprised that we would not require money from a man wishing to marry our daughter.  So, we got the whole story, process actually, on how a marriage is done here in Cameroon.  As much as it amazed him that we didn't "pay", I was amazed that they do still practice this.  We both ended with a good laugh.  Maybe I'll send Gracie to marry a Cameroonian man when she is old enough, make a little somethin' somethin' off her!

Speaking of Gracie getting married, she had her first marriage proposal today.  It came from the man working on the electric line outside our house.  I think that he really was just teasing her as it was amusing to all to see how worked up she got.  When she told him that she was already engaged to Jesse and showed him Jesse's picture he replied, "but what, how you turn down my affections for you?"  It made me laugh.  I told her to tell him for 150,000CFA and 5 chickens it would be a deal.  She didn't think that was funny.

Today we saw the "cart of death" rolling up the drive from the morgue.  I don't think that I have talked much about dying here.  It is hard for me to see and hear.  Yet it happens every day.  Here, mortality is dealt with more than I care to think about.  There is one cart that they use to transport the deceased to the morgue (which is on the front end of the hospital compound).  Every time I walk through the hospital, I look to see if the cart is where it is supposed to be.  Along the side of one of the corridors in the middle of the hospital.  Today it was gone, we met it on our way to the house.  The other thing that just penetrates right to my bones are the death cries.  Not really cries, but whaling.  It is almost a song, but one you don't want to hear.  The first time I heard it was outside the children's ward on one of the first days we were here.  There was a group of women gathered outside the ward door.  At first I thought they were laughing (but it was loud), then I thought loud singing, then it hit me and I knew.  My heart sank.  Now when I  hear it I know right away what has happened.  I don't really know how to describe it so that you would understand.  It is a very loud unique, whaling, LuLuLuLu, chanting, crying.  As soon as you hear it , you too would know...the sound of death in Africa.  I was awaken by the death cry the other night.  Outside my window, women were passing on the walk way to the hospital.  I couldn't go back to sleep.  B said they were still crying when he went to work a few hours later.  And I already told you about the casket in the taxi(word on the street is that sometimes they strap the casket to the back of a motto).  If there is no casket, the family will take the deceased home on their laps in the cab or propped between two people on a moto.  One day last week Grace and I heard a loud commotion coming from a large group of people that had gathered outside the morgue.  We of coarse went to investigate.  Come to find out, the family had not paid all of the bill to the hospital and so the hospital was not releasing the body to the family.  It was quite the ordeal.  There was a bright purple casket outside the morgue with the family all yelling around it.  Then there was the hospital guards in front of the door.  We stayed back, didn't want to get in the middle of that one.



Cart of Death

Enough about the sad stuff.  Today Joe summoned me to come outside.  Nari had shown him how to make "helicopters" out of mango leaves.  The kids all had one and my boys were loving it.  Nari then started making them out of paper and all the hood kids were racing around with their propellers.  Great fun when you don't have toys to play with!

Back side of hood houses.  Notice girl with her helicopter.  Check out the boy on the bike.  It is the only bike for all the kids in the 10 houses.  It belongs to Efron, Gracie's friend Becky's brother.  All the boys took turns trying to learn to ride it.  It amused me to watch them.  FYI-girl's don't ride bikes here!

Boys running with whirlies.  They run all the way down the row of house then circle around to the front to run back. 



Here is the front of the houses.  Kids running between the house and the cooking huts.

Toby and his mango leaf helicopter.

Ivolene, shuckin' beans.

 Grace has been learning baby carrying Africa style.  Becky has been giving her lessons with the little guy she babysits for.  Today Grace walked around with her pillow pet strapped to her back.  Angela be ready...she thinks KD is next!  The amazing thing is watching the younger girls carrying the babies.  Joycie, Margaret's niece, who is 7 carries baby Collins who is 1yo strapped to her back like this all day long.  This is why they think we are weak!  They are strong and it starts young!



You can see Joycie with baby Collins on her back.  He is half her size and she totes him around all day!

The other night I was walking home from graduation dinner and noticed another amazing African sight.  It was the sky.  The stars were the same as they always are, but there was something different.  I realized after standing and staring at the sky for a minute that it was the sky itself that was different, not the stars.  The stars seemed brighter because the sky was so black.  It was blacker than I have ever seen in my life.  There was no moon, no light polution, and because of the deep black, the stars just popped out.  It took my breath away!  I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before, the beauty of it all.  I decided that unfortunately I must have been to preoccupied to notice.  When B got to the house about 30 minutes later, he commented on the same thing.  He tried to take a picture of it, but that didn't work so well.  I guess it was a once in a moment sight.  I am glad I got to see it...the blackest night sky with twinkling lights.  In my wacky brain, it kinda reminded me of prom with the ceiling draped with black paper and dotted with Christmas lights.  But only 1000 times better!

So, I think I'm about done with my stories and I'm starting to get tired.  You are probably tired of reading!  I do want to comment real fast to Brooks.  We took the homemade dolls and puppets that the art club and you and your mom made to the peds ward the other day.  They were SO HAPPY!  I wish I had more to hand out.  Next year for sure!  The smile on this kiddo's face says it all.  Thank you Brooks and Kay for working on this project for the kids here!

And one last note to my  mom...You had a visitor the other day.  Lovely and Bless stopped by to say hi.  She was visiting for her sisters wedding and wanted to see how we all were.  She said to tell you hello.  So, HELLO!

Ok, a lot to digest in this one.  Gracie and Joe both want to blog tomorrow, I'm not sure what they have cookin'.  So, till then..

Au revoir

amy lea